Surrender
by LaurenAwesome
Summary: When Shizuma graduated, she left Nagisa in the dark. For the past 2 years, Nagisa has tried her best to forget... But how is she supposed to forget when Shizuma is suddenly thrown in her face?
1. Chapter 1

It had been two long years since the red headed beauty had seen the lover she tried so hard to forget. It was a daily struggle for her to forget all the memories she had. She could never understand how if their love was so strong, then why was she so easily forgotten? Every reason as to why her ex-lover would just suddenly stop acknowledging her existence made no sense in her mind. She had the right to have a reason explained to her, and yet she never got one.

"Shizuma…" the red headed beauty whispered.

She had done well to put her ex-lover out of her mind for the past couple of months. But now that she would be going to college in America, in the same state, the same city as her ex-lover, the thoughts of Shizuma had almost been nonstop. Of course, when she had made up her mind to UCLA, she had no idea that Shizuma would be anywhere near.

After being forced to act in "Carmen" in her fourth year, the red headed beauty had grown a silent love for acting. She tried so hard not to admit it to herself, but her passion for acting overtook her. She performed in every play possible during her high school years, always having a main role, if not the leading part. She was naturally a talented actress and everyone around her applauded her skill.

When she made the decision to go to UCLA, her parents were thrilled. They had caught one of the plays she had done in high school and swore she would become famous. Not only did her parents believe in her, but they were ecstatic to know that their baby girl would finally be living so close to them.

Upon the red headed beauty's graduation, and old friend appeared; Miyuki. She was excited and disappointed all at once. Miyuki came to see her graduate, but the love of her life didn't even send a congratulation text.

She and Miyuki talked for hours; constantly avoiding the topic of Shizuma. It was very clear that Miyuki and Shizuma were still the best of friends, and that Miyuki knew Shizuma had been ignoring the girl for the past two years. When the red headed beauty mentioned her excitement about getting accepted to UCLA for acting, Miyuki's face expressed shock.

"Fate would have it that way," Miyuki said lowly, smiling and shaking her head.

"What?" The red headed beauty said puzzled, her eyes dancing with curiosity.

"Nagisa..." Miyuki trailed, "You do know who goes to UCLA, don't you?"

As soon as the sentence left Miyuki's mouth, Nagisa knew who she went. Horror and excitement flooded the red head. Nagisa was puzzled as to how she couldn't remember something like that. Then she remembered that Shizuma had never said a word about her future. And she now knew that it was because her ex-lover obviously wanted nothing to do with her.

"Well, what are the chances that I'll actually see her?" Nagisa said nervously. "I mean, it's a huge school, with thousands of students, and I'm sure she's not in the same department."

"What if you do run into her?" Miyuki asked, plainly intrigued.

"Then…" Nagisa trailed off, lost in thought.

"What would I do?" Nagisa thought to herself. "I honestly don't know if I could even handle seeing her."

"Nagisa?" Miyuki questioned, eagerly awaiting a response.

"I have no idea what I would do," Nagisa said with no emotion in her voice. "I guess we'll both know if I do see her."


	2. Chapter 2

Nagisa's eyes lit up with excitement as she laid eyes on the college campus for the first time. There were so many buildings, and so many colorful people. The atmosphere was thrilling. Everywhere she looked she could see somebody playing wonderful music, sketching marvelous pictures, or acting out scenes fantastically.

"It's like I've died and gone to heaven," Nagisa thought as she walked a school pathway, eagerly heading for her dorm room. "I wonder how my roommate will be. No one could ever replace Tamao, but I hope they'll come close to her.

Nagisa smiled as she remembered her best friend. She missed Tamao so much already, but they sadly had to move on with their lives. They would always be friends, but from now on they would always be so far apart.

As Nagisa made her way up the stairs of her dorm building, she couldn't help but notice all of the sexy women she was surrounded by. All of them, every single female she saw had perfect hair, skin, and bodies. Not to mention that they were all probably super talented at something. It was almost as if she was surrounded by thousands of perfect women.

"Oh, I could get use to this very fast," Nagisa thought, a devious grin forming on her face.

Nagisa made it to the third floor and was automatically attuned to somebody singing. It made her stop in her tracks.

"That voice is heavenly," Nagisa thought, closing her eyes and taking it in. "It's so passionate."

She made her way down the hall, searching for her room. It was clearly apparent that the closer she got to her room, the louder the heavenly voice became. When she found her dorm room, she couldn't believe that the heavenly voice was coming from behind her door.

"No way," Nagisa thought as a smile formed on her face.

Nagisa slowly opened the door, trying not to disturb the woman inside. She got one foot into the room before she stopped; mesmerized by the beautiful singer that was only a few feet from her.

The woman had short, shaggy brown hair that laid perfectly on her face. Her well toned upper body was mostly visible by the sleeveless, white shirt the woman was wearing. Her face, as far as Nagisa could tell, was beautiful. Even though the woman's eyes were closed, her welcoming, plush lips were letting angelic notes seep through them.

Nagisa stood and listened to the women, appreciating intensity of the woman's performance. She didn't recognize the song the woman was singing, but the way she was singing it made Nagisa want to learn it.

_"Come back down, save yourself, I can't find my way to you, and I can't bear to face the truth. Sing something new, I have nothing left, I can't face the dark without you. There's nothing left to lose, the fight never ends, I can't face the dark without you."_

The women had finally opened her eyes and abruptly stopped playing when she realized Nagisa had been standing there watching her. Her piercing blue eyes smiled with the women's lips as she stood up to greet Nagisa.

"Please tell me you're my roommate," The woman said nervously. "If not, you're the fifth person today who just creeped up on me while I was playing."

"Well, if I'm reading this piece of paper correctly, then yes, I am your roommate," Nagisa said as she smiled and scratched the back of her head.

"Thank God," The woman said, letting out a breath. She walked over to Nagisa, extending her arm, "I'm Phoenix."

"Nice to meet you Phoenix, my name is Nagisa," Nagisa said, shaking Phoenix's hand. "That's an interesting name."

"Yeah see, my parents figured that my siblings and I would all be famous, so they gave us all not normal names," Phoenix said, smiling nervously.

Nagisa's eyebrow rose as she dropped her bags on the floor. "What are your sibling's names?" She asked, extremely intrigued by the woman in front of her.

"My younger brother's name is Talon, and my older sister's name is Battle," Phoenix said, rolling her eyes. "I don't know what drugs my parents were on when they named us," She laughed.

"No way," Nagisa said, realizing who her new roommate was related to. "Your parents are Roy and Sarah Acramen. They're so famous that even everyone in Japan knows who they are."

"Yeah, well, I hate how famous they are," Phoenix said she picked up some dirty clothes and put them in a hamper by her bed. "Nobody ever really wants to know me because of it."

"I understand," Nagisa said with a smile, "It's hard to be yourself when everyone expects you to be someone they've pictured in their own minds."

Nagisa closed the door and began to unpack her belongs unto her bed. She took in the room while her new roommate attempted to clean up a mess of numerous objects. The room itself wasn't any bigger then her old room in the Strawberry Dorms. There was a bed with all black linen leaning against the wall, right next to one of the winds in the room. And the other bed, Nagisa's bed, was right next to the only closet in the room. There was only one black metal desk, which was located right next to the door. There was a full length mirror on the other side of the desk. And the rest of the room was just empty space, besides the guitars piled up in their cases next to Phoenix's bed.

"I'm sorry," Phoenix said, finally cleaning up her mess, "I've just been the only one here all week and I kinda just let everything go."

"It's okay," said Nagisa, smiling. "I'm quite messy myself, I don't mind."

"Awesome," Phoenix said, placing her acoustic guitar on top of her bed. "I used a little less than half of the closet," Phoenix said as she walked across the room and opened the closet doors.

Phoenix opened the closet doors to show Nagisa. The closet looked so small with the door closed, but it was actually two times bigger than the door size. The right side of the closet had tones of colorful t-shirts and flannels hanging. Below the colorful clothing selection were two sets of decently sized drawers.

"You sure like your choice of colors, don't you?" said Nagisa, smirking at Phoenix.

"I happen to thoroughly enjoy wearing every single color," Phoenix said with a huge smile. "Except when it comes to pants. I only wear black, blue, and grey in pants."

"I see," Nagisa laughed.

"Yep, yep…" Phoenix trailed, biting her lip. "I embarrass myself a lot, just so you know. My mouth just vomits all of my thoughts. I'm apologizing ahead of time in case I say something extremely embarrassing. And I'm sure I will," Phoenix laughed.

Once Nagisa had finished putting all of her clothes away and putting her sheets on her bed, she sat down to take a breather. A few moments went by and she felt her butt vibrating. Instantly she knew it was her. She reached into her pocket and opened her phone up to see who had text her. She gasped when she read the name "Shizuma."

All feeling had been taken away from Nagisa. She opened the message, dreading what it would say. It read, "Hi."

Nagisa became infuriated almost instantly. "After all this time, all she has to say is 'Hi?'" Nagisa thought. "I swear, if I even catch her out of the corner of my eye…!"

Phoenix was becoming concerned. It almost seemed that out of nowhere her new roommate became infuriated.

"Are you okay?" Phoenix asked timidly.

Nagisa took a deep breath and said, "Yes, I'm fine. Sorry to concern you."

"You don't seem fine?" Phoenix said.

Nagisa faked a smile and said, "Don't worry about it."

"Okay," Phoenix said curiously as she reached her phone from her pocket to read a text message. "Hey," Phoenix said, "My band is performing at a school party tonight. Do you want to come? It's gonna be awesome; all the beer, drugs, and guys that you want."

"I could use a good drink," Nagisa said. "I don't know about the drugs or the guys though."

Phoenix grew curious with Nagisa's last statement. "What? Do you not like guys or something?" Phoenix said with a smirk.

"As a matter of fact, no I don't" Nagisa said, shocked by Phoenix's bluntness.

"That's cool, I don't either," Phoenix said sly as she got up from her bed. "Now all we have to do is pick out poppin outfits and we're good to go."

Nagisa looked down at her phone to check the time. "But it's only three o'clock," She said.

"Yeah, I don't know about you, but it takes me about an hour to look sexy. And then I have to go help my band set up," Phoenix said as she looked through her clothes. "I mean, you don't have to come with me now, I can come back and get you."

"No, I'll go with you," Nagisa said. "I can help you guys set stuff up."

"Woah now!" Phoenix said as she threw her hands in the air. "Pretty girls don't help with the heavy lifting; they just stand somewhere and look pretty."

Nagisa giggled and cocked her eyebrow. "You sure are an odd one," She said.


	3. Chapter 3

"Finished!" Phoenix exclaimed as she put her shoes on. "I look so fresh!"

"American's are weird," Nagisa laughed.

"No, not all American's are like me. Just the guys," Phoenix joked.

"I'm done as well," Nagisa said as she finished putting her up in a messy pony tail.

Nagisa stared at herself in the mirror. She had a white t-shirt on that loosely clung to her curves, blue skinny jeans that clung to her ass, and black chucks that she just adored. She smiled at herself in the mirror, seeming to be pleased.

"My turn," Phoenix said excitedly, gently nudging Nagisa out of the way.

Phoenix's had styled her short shaggy hair around her face. She had a loose fitting bright blue flannel on and a tight fitting black t-shirt on underneath. Her gray skinny jeans were loose fitting as well, and they slightly hung off of her ass, revealing her black boxers.

"It's the shoes that make the outfit," said Phoenix as she checked out her black high tops. "I am loving the shoes."

"I just think you love yourself," Nagisa laughed.

"If I don't love me, then what gorgeous women will?" Phoenix hypothetically asked.

Phoenix and Nagisa walked side by side down the streets of the UCLA campus. The sun was on its way down, allowing the temperature to become a cool eighty degrees. It was humid, but a nice calm breeze steadily blew. As they continued walking, Phoenix led Nagisa to a house just off of the UCLA campus.

"I'm so late," Phoenix said looking at her phone.

"You did take four hours to get ready," Nagisa said with a smile.

"Yeah, I just wanted to look good. This is my band's first gig for the college. First impressions are important," Phoenix said, actually sounding worried.

"I can only imagine how good you guys will be if the rest of your band mates are as talented as you are," Nagisa said, trying to give Phoenix some confidence.

"Thank you," Phoenix said. "You're awesome."

Nagisa laughed as they made their way inside the house in front of them. Both of the young women were surprised to see the house already packed with people. The air stunk of cigarettes and alcohol. The only thing to two women could hear was thumping music and mixed conversations.

Phoenix led Nagisa through the front entrance and to a stage that had been built in what would have been the living room of the house. One the stage was two handsome young men, and a very attractive young lady. The two young women finally made it to the stage and the band members were relieved to see Phoenix. Before any of the band members could yell at Phoenix for being late, she introduced them all to Nagisa.

"Guys," Phoenix yelled to be heard, "This is my roommate, Nagisa."

"Nice to meet you," Nagisa shouted with a smile.

Phoenix pointed to a very muscular young man with a buzzed head first. "This is Sean," Phoenix said.

"Hello," Sean shouted, eyeing Nagisa up and down.

Next, Phoenix pointed to a short, seductive young woman with long black hair. "This is my sister, Battle."

"Nice to meet you," Battle screamed at Nagisa as she reached over and shook Nagisa's hand.

Last, Phoenix pointed to a well toned, very tan young man who had spiky blue hair. "And this young, gay gentleman is Monroe."

"Hello gorgeous," Monroe said, winking at Nagisa.

"Okay, I see we're all ready to go," Phoenix shouted to her band members, looking at all of the equipment that was already set.

"Yeah, no thanks to you," Battle shouted to her sister, giving her an evil eye.

"Aw, did you actually have to help for once?" Phoenix shouted, teasing her sister.

"Shut up!" Battle screamed, punching her sister in the arm.

"Ladies, let's not fight!" Monroe shouted, putting space between Phoenix and Battle.

"Can you handle really loud noise?" Sean asked Nagisa as the rest of the members went to their instruments.

"Kinda," Nagisa shouted back.

"Okay then, stand in front of the stage here," Sean said, pushing some drunken men out of the way to make a place for Nagisa.

Nagisa smiled at Sean as a thank you. Sean's face turned beat red and smiled back. Quickly, he turned around and grabbed his guitar.

Nagisa watched them all intently. Battle was behind a very nice set of blue drums, Monroe was holding tuning his black bass, Sean was intently trying to fix his guitar strap, and Phoenix was waiting impatiently, strumming her guitar. Sean reached over to a box and turned everything on with on flick of his finger.

"Are you guys drunk yet?" Phoenix shouted into the microphone.

Everyone in the room turned to face the stage and cheered. Phoenix smiled, her eyes dancing with joy.

"So how about we get this party started?" Phoenix said, getting another cheer from the audience. "Alright, I'm Phoenix and our band is called Time Out. And we're gonna start off with a song I think all of you should now."

Battle clanged her drum sticks to count off the beat. Sean pressed a button on the synthesizer that was on stage next to him and a rave beat took over the room. The whole room instantly began to dance, including Nagisa.

"_Let's have some fun, this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick. Let's have some fun, this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick .Huh!"_

Nagisa was amazed at how natural and good Phoenix was on stage. She portrayed the sexuality of the song so well. Nagisa could feel herself blush. Yes, she thought her new roommate was beautiful, but the way Phoenix was on stage made her extremely turned on. There was sexiness about Phoenix when she was performing, and it made Nagisa and everyone else in the room want use the closest person to them as a grind buddy.

"_I wanna kiss you, but if I do then I might miss you babe. It's complicated and stupid, got my ass squeezed by sexy cupid, guess he wants wants to play, wants to play, I love game, I love game."_

Nagisa began to dance rhythmically with the rest of the room; she was in a trance. She swayed her hips back and forth and moved her arms around her body. She closed her eyes tightly and just let herself do whatever she felt.

"_Hold me and love me, just want touch you for a minute. Maybe three seconds is enough for my heart to quit it."_

Nagisa felt slender arms grab her waist from behind. Normally, she would be startled, but she seemed to not care at the moment. The person pushed themselves against her and began to dance perfectly with her. At that point, Nagisa could tell it was a woman by the breasts pushing into her back. She could feel herself almost sinking into the mystery woman's skin. She reached her arms up and around her back and dug her fingers into the mystery girl's hair.

"_Let's have some fun, this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick. Don't think too much, just bust that stick, I wanna take a ride on your disco. Let's play a love game, play a love game, do you want love, or you want fame, are you in the game? Doin the love game."_

Nagisa could feel the mystery woman grind her hips into her; she moaned. She let the mystery woman touch every inch of her body. She felt incredible. Her mind kept screaming at her to stop but she couldn't help herself. The environment and this mystery woman was intoxicating.

"_I'm on a mission, and it involves some heavy touching, yeah, You've indicated your interests, I'm educated in sex, yes, and now I want it bad, want it bad, I love game, I love game."_

Nagisa wanted to turn around and see her mystery woman, but fear kept her in her place. She just continued to grind on her dance partner and pull on her hair gently.

Throughout the whole song, Nagisa let her mystery woman feel every inch of her. "At this rate, I would let this woman fuck me," Nagisa thought, her body filled with desire. "It's been a long time…" Her thoughts trailed as she felt her mystery woman run her hand over her stomach, just above her aching spot.

"You've grown so much Nagisa," The mystery woman said into Nagisa's ear.

Nagisa froze in her spot, recognizing the voice immediately. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't move an inch. She was filled with anger and longing. She couldn't decide if should wanted to turn around and punch Shizuma or kiss her.

The song ended and Nagisa finally turned around. She bit her lip hard to keep herself from screaming. When she was fully turned around, Shizuma was gone, nowhere in sight. She felt relief and despair fill her body.


	4. Chapter 4

After an hour of playing, Phoenix and her band had finished. Everyone in the room cheered in a drunken roar. Phoenix graciously thanked the crowd and got off stage. As soon as she touched the floor a DJ in the corner of the room began to play music. The crowd continued on with their drunk dancing.

"You want to go outside for a bit?" Phoenix shouted to Nagisa.

Nagisa shook her head yes and followed Phoenix through the house to the back door. They went through the door and onto a decently sized porch. Surprisingly, there wasn't anyone outside except for Phoenix and Nagisa.

"I need a cigarette," Phoenix said as she pulled a pack out of her pocket.

"Ew," Nagisa teased, sticking her tongue out at Phoenix.

"Yeah, I know, a disgusting habit," Phoenix said before inhaling the nicotine. "I just enjoy it too much."

"How can you enjoy that?" Nagisa asked, taking a step back to avoid the smoke.

"You'd only understand it if you were a smoker," Phoenix said smiling. She inhaled another drag before speaking again. "So, did you have fun with Shizuma?"

Nagisa was shocked. Of course she would get a roommate that knew Shizuma. "Perfect," Nagisa thought.

"How do you know Shizuma?" Nagisa asked, still socked.

"She's my band's manager," Phoenix said, she was now extremely intrigued. "How do you know Shizuma?" She asked.

"I…" Nagisa couldn't even begin her sentence. Sadness had washed over her body.

Phoenix intently examined Nagisa's face as she continued to inhale drags of her cigarette. She pondered in thought for a while before realizing what she already knew.

"It's you," Phoenix said, awe taking over her face. "No fucking way."

Nagisa looked confused and asked, "What do mean?"

"You're the girl Shizuma's always talking about," Phoenix said, excited. "Holy fucking shit. I can't believe this. What a small world."

"Shizuma's always talking about me?" Nagisa asked, extremely confused.

"Yeah, all the time," Phoenix said as she put her cigarette out. "I quote, 'The love of her life that she let slip through her fingers.'"

Nagisa was in complete shock. Her mind was racing a thousand miles a second. She couldn't decide to be angry or happy. But the more she thought, the angrier she became.

"How dare she call me that," Nagisa hissed, scaring Phoenix. "She left me behind, without any explanation. She didn't say one word to me for two years until tonight!" Nagisa was beginning to shout. "And she didn't even have the balls to look me in the face!"

"Easy there tiger," Phoenix said in a frightened tone.

Nagisa stopped and collected herself. It wasn't Phoenix's fault, but she had a very hard time controlling temper.

"Shizuma told me what she did," Phoenix said in a somber tone. "And what she did was fucked up. I can't understand why she did it, but…" Phoenix's tone became serious, "I can tell by the way she talks about you that she's madly in love with you. Just the look in her eyes says it all."

It became silent for a few minutes. Nagisa could feel her anger melting away. She was struggling not to cry. Phoenix noticed and tried to cheer her up.

"You wanna go egg her car?" Phoenix asked with a devilish grin on her face. "Cause I would love to do it."

Nagisa laughed. "No," Nagisa said. "I think that… I'd like to talk to her though."

"Really?" Phoenix asked. "Cause I'm sure she's here somewhere, hiding in a corner no doubt."

"I thought she left," Nagisa said confused.

"Nope, this is her house," Phoenix said. "If she's nowhere downstairs, then she's sure to be on the second or third floor."

"But when we came in I noticed the stairs," Nagisa said, "They led to a door that's looks locked."

"That's okay if it is, I have a key," Phoenix said grinning, digging into her pocket and pulling out a key. "The upstairs of the house is where Shizuma actually lives and it's also where we record music. Which is why I have a key," Phoenix said nervously.

"You don't have to explain anything to me," Nagisa said, becoming suspicious.

"I just wanted to make that clear," Phoenix said hastily. "I felt awkward and when I feel awkward I have to explain myself. I told you early, I have word vomit."

Nagisa laughed and thought about approaching Shizuma. She wanted to confront her, badly. She just didn't know if she had the courage to do it.

"Do you really want to talk to her?" Phoenix asked.

"Yes," Nagisa said, confirming more with her own mind than Phoenix.

"Then let's go," Phoenix said as she grabbed Nagisa's hand, dragging her. Phoenix led her back through the house and the crowd of people. They reached the stairs and Nagisa stopped. Fear began to take over her.

Phoenix turned around to look Nagisa in the eye. "Are you still sure?" Phoenix asked.

"Yes," Nagisa said, "I'm just nervous."

"Let me help you with that," Phoenix said grinning as she pulled Nagisa up the stairs.

They reached the door and Phoenix quickly unlocked it. She threw Nagisa through the door way and ran in after her. She quickly slammed the door shut and locked it.

"Sorry," Phoenix said, "The only people that come up here are Nagisa, me, and the rest of my band. Tons of people are extremely curious as to what's up here. And if I ever let anyone up here, Shizuma would skin me alive," Phoenix let out a nervous laugh.

Monroe peaked out of a room that was down the hall. When he saw it was Phoenix and Nagisa he walked down the hallway to greet them.

"I thought I forgot to lock the door and some idiot came up here," Monroe said nervously.

"No, just me and my new buddy," Phoenix said smiling.

"No offense girly," Monroe said, looking at Nagisa, "but you really shouldn't be up here. Not if you want to see Phoenix healthy and living."

"Dude, this is the girl," Phoenix said excitedly.

"The girl?" Monroe questioned.

"The one Shizuma's always talking about," Phoenix said.

"Holy shit!" Monroe exclaimed. "What a small fucking world!"

"That's what I said!" Phoenix shouted.

"Shut the fuck up!" Sean shouted into the hallway. "I'm trying to make out with your sister."

"Hey!" Phoenix yelled. "I'll be right back," she said, looking at Nagisa. "Get off my sister you perverted bastard!" She shouted, running down the hall into one of the rooms.

Nagisa and Monroe stood in silence for a few moments. Monroe smiled and took Nagisa's hand. He led her down the hallway into the room Phoenix, Sean, and Battle were in. Phoenix had Sean pinned to the floor and she was punching him repeatedly in the arm.

"You're such a fucking pervert," Phoenix said through gritted teeth as she continued to punch Sean.

"Babe, a little help!" Sean shouted to Battle, who was sitting on a black leather couch in the corner of the room.

"You shouldn't have provoked my baby sister babe," Battle said to Sean. "You knew what you were asking for when you did that."

"Bastard," Phoenix said as she hit Sean one last time.

"Fuck! I'm sorry!" Sean shouted as he pushed Phoenix off of him.

Phoenix and Sean sat in the floor while Monroe led Nagisa to the couch Battle was sitting on. Monroe sat down in the middle of the couch, next to Battle, and encouraged Nagisa to sit down next to him. Nagisa sat down next to him, enjoying how nice Monroe was.

"So how was your day sweetie?" Monroe asked Nagisa with a pleasant smile.

"Um, confusing," Nagisa said, smiling back at Monroe.

"I'll bet," Monroe said. "Would you like something to drink? We have water, soda, and beer."

"And girly mixed drinks that Monroe loves to make," Sean said, attempting to make fun of Monroe.

"You're not funny darling," Monroe said to Sean, glaring at him.

"You're really not," Phoenix agreed as she walked behind a mini bar that was in the room. "What would you like Nagisa?"

"I'll have a beer," Nagisa said, smiling at Phoenix.

"Me too," Battle said, glaring at Sean like he was a piece of meat.

"Me three," Monroe said in an excited, girly manner.

"I'll have one too dude," Sean said, sitting down in a black leather chair that was next to the couch.

Phoenix got four beers out of the fridge behind the mini bar. She handed one each to Battle, Monroe, and Nagisa and sat down on the floor in front of her sister, watching Sean like a hawk.

"Where's mine?" Sean asked.

"Like I'd get you one after you just got done violating my sister," Phoenix said, talking to Sean like he was stupid.

"You're so gay," Sean said, moping.

"Duh," Phoenix said before taking a sip of her beer. "So where's Shizuma?"

"She's taking a shower," Battle said, looking at her nails.

"Then I guess we'll just have to wait," Phoenix said, looking at Nagisa. "Hey, asshole," Phoenix said to Sean, "Turn on the tv."

"Why would I do that for you?" Sean asked, gripping the remote and flipping Phoenix off.

"Babe, turn the tv on," Battle said, sighing at Sean's childish act.

Sean turned the tv on and pouted. Phoenix quickly grabbed the remote from Sean's hand and began flicking through the channels. Sean pouted more, trying to get his girlfriend to defend him, but she did nothing.

They all sat and chit chatted as Phoenix continuously changed the channel. The room was filled with small talk and laughter for a good thirty minutes. They all became silent when they heard Shizuma shout as she made her way down the hall.

"Hey guys," Shizuma shouted, "Where are you?"

"The living room," Monroe shouted, curling up with Battle, earning an evil glare from Sean. "Gosh, Relax," Monroe said to Sean. "You know it's not like that."

Shizuma made her way into the room and froze in her tracks when she laid eyes on Nagisa. Shizuma's heart began to pound in her chest. She was scared and excited all at once. She wanted to sweep her love off of her feet but she knew she had no right to touch her.


	5. Chapter 5

"Nagisa," Shizuma whispered, amazed simply by the girls presence.

Nagisa couldn't believe her eyes. Her ex-lover was exactly the way she remembered her; breathtakingly beautiful. Her brilliant silver hair was a bit longer, and her appearance was changed a bit, but only because of the clothes she wore. She was still magnificent.

Before Nagisa could say a word, Shizuma ran to the girl, grabbed her hand, and lead her down the hall way into another room. Shizuma led Nagisa into the room, turned and shut the door. The room made Nagisa feel a bit uncomfortable. There were only two things in the room: a bed and a television.

Shizuma stared at the door for a while; an awkward silence filled the room. She finally swallowed her fear and turned to face Nagisa. She was shocked and hurt when she realized Nagisa was fighting back tears.

"I…" Shizuma tried to form words. She was ashamed of herself. "I… I'm sorry Nagisa."

Nagisa felt anger flood her body once again, and she began to cry. "You're sorry?" Nagisa shouted. "That's all you can say?"

"I don't know what else to say," Shizuma said, looking down at the grey carpet beneath her feet.

"Don't look away from me!" Nagisa yelled fiercely. She ran to Shizuma and pinned her to the door, forcing Shizuma to look at her. "Don't you dare look away from me," She said in a low tone, trying to stop crying. "The very least you can do is look me in the eye."

Shizuma looked up at her love, tears silently streaming down her face. Nagisa was shocked and she froze. They stared at each other for what seemed like hours.

"I am so sorry Nagisa," Shizuma said, the guilt and sadness beaming through her eyes. "I know I hurt you in the worst way I ever could. But I," Shizuma got out of Nagisa's grip and snaked her arms around Nagisa's waist, forcing her to stay close. "I didn't want to hold up your life."

Nagisa tried to force her way out of Shizuma's arms, but it was no use. Shizuma pushed her closer to her body, making sure she couldn't escape.

"I love you so much Nagisa," Shizuma said, shocking the girl in her arms. "I just felt like if I stayed in your life, I would ruin it."

"That's bull shit and you know it!" Nagisa shouted, more tears streaming down her face.

"No, it's not," Shizuma said, trying desperately to make the girl understand her logic. "Think about it Nagisa. After we…" Shizuma trailed off, her love's fully grown body pushed up against her was making it hard for her to concentrate. "After we committed to each other, we centered our lives around our relationship. And I realized that if we were to stay together after I left, you would never just do what you wanted."

"That's such bull-" Nagisa was cut off my Shizuma's lips. Immediately, she gave into it, enjoying the feel of her ex-lover's lips. Shizuma pulled away, trying to regain her composer.

"It is not," Shizuma whispered. "If we had stayed together, you would have focused every decision you made around our relationship. You would have never decided what was best for you and your future; you just would have done what was best for our future. And I didn't want that." Shizuma was struggling to look Nagisa in the eye. "I wanted you to do what was best for you."

"So why not just say that?" Nagisa said, her anger turning into pain. "Why not just talk to me?"

"Nagisa," Shizuma said, "you know how stubborn you are. You would have refused anything I said if we had talked. And you would have easily convinced me to agree with you." Shizuma's body began to hurt all over; the pain in Nagisa's eyes was having a very bad physical affect on her. "I wanted you to enjoy your life and just do what you wanted. If I had talked to you… just hearing your voice would have made me cave."

"You're an asshole," Nagisa said, trying to stay mad at the gorgeous woman holding her. "You put me through two years of hell. I didn't even know if you were alive Shizuma." Nagisa began to cry uncontrollably.

"I am so, deeply sorry," Shizuma said, looking deeply into Nagisa's pain filled eyes. "It killed me to do it. The only way I could keep going was to make myself work all the time. And even then," Shizuma held Nagisa tighter, "I could barely make it through the day."

They stood in silence, both of them crying and staring at each other. They were both fighting the urge to kiss each other. Their bodies pushed so close together was making it hard for both of them to concentrate.

"Maybe," Nagisa said, her tears stopping, "maybe I could forgive… in time."

Shizuma smiled and tried to stop her tears. After a few moments, she had them under control. She looked deeply into Nagisa's eyes, searching for any hint of affection. All Nagisa could do was stare at the older woman's lips.

"God, I hate her," Nagisa thought, fighting a strong erg to ravage her ex-lover's lips. "I already forgive her. All I want is to have her."

"Nagisa," Shizuma said, breaking Nagisa's thought process. "I will earn your forgiveness."

They stared into each others eyes longingly. They were both trying to stay as still as possible. The heat in their bodies was rising, causing friction to form in the air around them. Shizuma gripped Nagisa's hips tightly, trying not to throw the girl down on the bed.

"I still want you to live your own life," Shizuma said. "I want to be in your life, and I will earn your forgiveness, but I… I can't…" Shizuma was cut off my Nagisa's lips.

Their lips lingered for a few moments, both of them staying still. In a split second, they were kissing furiously. Their lips were frantically moving as their tongues began to dance. Shizuma pushed her love down onto the bed and ground her hips into her. Nagisa let out a low moan from deep within her throat. Their bodies continued to grind into each other as their tongues battled for dominance. Shizuma's hand made its way up Nagisa's shirt, massaging every bit of skin it touched. Nagisa broke their kiss and moaned, digging her nails into Shizuma's lower back. Shizuma gasped and bit down on Nagisa's neck, longing to hear the girl cry out again.

"No!" Shizuma said as she forced herself off of her gorgeous lover.

Nagisa gasped as Shizuma suddenly pulled away, opening her eyes to find out what was wrong. A shaking, gasping Shizuma stood above Nagisa; she was clearly trying to restrain herself. Nagisa sat up reached for her lover, pulling her back down on top of her.

Shizuma closed her eyes and tried to control her breathing. When she regained some composer, she opened her eyes to find a whimpering Nagisa pulling at her shirt, trying to get their bodies to touch.

"No Nagisa," Shizuma said, trying her best to not ravage the woman below her. "I won't let this happen like this." She took a deep breath and looked deep in Nagisa's eyes. "If we are ever to be together again, it will be in time. I don't deserve you, not now… not yet."

Nagisa was amazed. Shizuma seemed determined to make things right, and in the right order too. Nagisa sighed and ran her fingers through Shizuma's long silver hair.

Shizuma let out a breath and enjoyed the sensation of her love's touch. She bit her lip, trying not to groan. Anything Nagisa did was turning her on immensely. She kissed her love on the forehead and attempted to get up. As soon as Nagisa felt her pull away, she pulled her back down, refusing to let go.

"Nagisa," Shizuma said, amazed at the strength the girl had gained.

"Don't leave me," Nagisa said desperately.

Shizuma sighed and stared fondly at the woman she loved. "As you wish my love," She said.


	6. Chapter 6

The night seemed to draw out for what seemed like years. Nagisa and Shizuma slept fondly in each other's arms, neither of them willing to move, scared to break the moment. The other people on the second floor had gotten drunk and they were passed out on top of each other in the floor. Everyone except for Phoenix was soundly asleep.

Phoenix stood in the dark hall way, staring intently outside the only window in the hallway. For hours, she stood and stared into the back yard, never letting her eyes leave the only tree in the yard. She bit her lip and clenched her fists, memories were flooding her mind. She was fighting to stay awake, the alcohol in her veins demanding she sleep.

"_Starry, starry night…"_ Phoenix sang before collapsing to the floor, instantly passing out.

Phoenix was the first one awake in the house, the little hours of sleep seeming enough to energize her. As she got up from the floor, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small bag. Inside the bag were multiple kinds of pills. She pulled a little blue pill out and laid it on her tongue. She swallowed hard and made her way into the living room, where her band mates were passed out on top of each other.

Phoenix walked up to the pile of bodies in the floor, kicking Sean's leg, trying to wake the young man up. Sean woke with freight before realizing where he was. He glared at Phoenix for waking him up.

"Come to the kitchen with me idiot," Phoenix whispered, smiling at Sean.

"I hate how early you wake up," Sean cried lowly, untangling himself from Battle and Monroe.

"It's not early," Phoenix said, not really knowing what time it was. She looked at her phone, it reading '11:45.' "It's almost noon."

"Too early for me," Sean said, quietly standing.

Phoenix grabbed an acoustic guitar and made her way down the hallway with Sean. As soon as they entered the kitchen, Sean started making multiple breakfast foods. Phoenix sat down in a chair, quietly tuning the guitar in her hands.

"See, this is why I always wake you up," Phoenix said. "You instantly go and make breakfast for everyone. You're so sweet," Phoenix teased.

"If I'm going to make food, I'm going to make some for everyone," Sean said as her cracked some eggs into a skillet. "Please Phoenix, don't be all loud-" Sean was cut off by Phoenix playing the guitar. He sighed and continued to make more food.

Phoenix played around on the guitar for a bit, changing from song to song, trying to decide what she wanted to play. She could feel the high of her pill hitting, and she smiled as her eyes glazed over. Suddenly, she decided her song and began to play furiously, singing with all the passion she had.

"_Weep for yourself my man, you'll never be what is in your heart. Weep little lion man, you're not as brave as you were at the start. Rate yourself and rape yourself, take all the courage you have left. Waste it on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head."_

Sean began to tap his foot and sing along. He could never resist singing or playing along with Phoenix; they were musical soul mates.

"_But it was not your fault, but mine. And it was your heart on the line. I really fucked it up this time, didn't I my dear? Didn't I my…"_

The notes rang throughout the house, stirring everyone from their slumber. Shizuma, who had been awake for hours, smiled as she watched Nagisa slowly wake up. She pulled the girl to her and kissed her on the forehead. She squeezed the younger girl tightly before getting up and quietly leaving the room; she didn't want Nagisa to feel awkward.

Shizuma made her way down the hall way, loving and hating the sounds that drove her from the bedroom where her love slept. She slowly made her way into the kitchen and stopped in the doorway, watching Phoenix. She thoroughly enjoyed listening to her; it's why she became the band's manager in the first place.

Phoenix stopped playing when she realized Shizuma was standing there. She nervously waited to be yelled as she scratched the back of her head and timidly laughed. She was surprised when Shizuma walked across the kitchen to the only table, sitting down on the opposite side of her.

"Sorry," Phoenix said, quickly grabbing another pill from her pocket and throwing it in her mouth.

"Don't do that in front of me," Shizuma said, frowning in disappointment.

"Do what?" Phoenix asked, playing stupid.

Shizuma sighed and turned her chair slightly so she could see Sean as well. She breathed in deeply, excited for the food.

"You should make pancakes," Shizuma said as she smiled.

"I planned on it," Sean said, never removing his eyes from the food he was handling.

Nagisa awoke to Shizuma leaving the room. She didn't say a word as the older woman left. She laid there for a few minutes, listening to Phoenix, and thinking. She sighed as she sat up, looking in her pockets for her phone. She checked to see what time it was and quickly looked up when she heard the door open.

"I fucking hate that bitch," Battle mumbled, making her way into the room. "She can never just be fucking quiet, no."

Nagisa laughed and greeted the grumpy woman. "How did you sleep?" She asked.

"Not good," Battle yawned, lying down on the bed next to Nagisa. "We all got drunk and passed out on the floor. My back is killing me," She said, squinting. "Do you want some breakfast?" She asked, looking Nagisa in the eye. "My hubby is most certainly in the middle of making it."

"These people talk so weird," Nagisa thought as she stretched. "Food sounds wonderful," Nagisa said, clear excitement in her voice.

"You love food too, huh?" Battle asked smiling, getting up from the bed.

"Oh yes!" Nagisa exclaimed, finally untangling from the sheets and rising.

The two girls made their way to the kitchen, talking about their favorite foods. The closer they got to the kitchen, the more clearly they could smell the delicious meal being prepared for them.

"Food!" Battle shouted as she jumped through the kitchen door way.

Nagisa slowly followed behind her, avoiding eye contact with Shizuma. She looked for a place to sit and saw two chairs around the small kitchen table that Phoenix and Shizuma were sitting at.

"Good morning," Phoenix said happily, tuning her guitar to a different key.

"Good morning hooker!" Battle yelled at Phoenix with clear hatred in her voice. "Fucking waking me up and shit!"

"You need to watch your mouth," Phoenix said, teasing her older sister. "Don't make me tell grandma, she'll wash your mouth out with soap so fast…"

Battle walked around the table and sat dawn in one of the free chairs, smacking Phoenix on the head on her way. Nagisa hesitantly sat down in the only free chair; never letting her eyes fall upon Shizuma. She stared out the window by the table, waiting for someone to start a conversation.

"So," Phoenix said, "prepare yourselves."

"Oh God, what are you going to do?" Battle asked, annoyance written all over her face.

"I've been working on this for a while," Phoenix said as she finished tuning the guitar. "I'm gonna say, I spent a whopping ten minutes on it."

"Oh, you worked so hard," Battle mocked, waving her hands in the air.

Phoenix stared her sister dead in the eye, a blank expression on her face. "Yes. I. Did." She said.

"Well, play it already! The food's almost done," Sean shouted, quickly grabbing plates from one of the cabinets.

"No! I'm sorry; I'm sick of your voice! Just play something from the communal ipod," Battle shouted, clearly agitated with her sister. She pointed to the counter. On it was what looked like a brand new ipod and a player to go along with it. Phoenix happily got up and walked over to it, turning on the ipod and browsing through the songs.

"Oh no," Monroe said as he dragged himself in through the kitchen door way. "Please, nothing with screaming, my head is killing me," He cried, sitting down in Phoenix's chair.

"I have something for you Monroe," Phoenix said with an evil grin. "You better be ready to get up and dance with me though."

"I can't dance!" Monroe cried as he began to pout.

"No gay man alive can resist what I am about to put on," Phoenix said, her evil smile growing as she pushed the play button.

The speakers let out a loud horn noise and instantly, everyone in the room knew the song. Just as Phoenix predicted, Monroe could not resist the erg to dance. He suddenly became happy and rose from his seat. Shizuma put her face in her hands and groaned; knowing how embarrassing it was to watch them dance. Nagisa laughed and kept her eyes on the pair dancing, enjoying the view. And suddenly, Battle started singing along to the song, very loudly.

"_Hush just stop! There's nothing you can do or say, baby…"_

Phoenix, Monroe, and Battle began dancing together like they had practiced and planned the spectacle they were performing. They were clearly enjoying themselves immensely.

"I can't tell you how many times a week they dance and listen to this song," Shizuma cried, smiling at Nagisa.

Nagisa smiled nervously; she still couldn't decide to kill or rape Shizuma. As Nagisa stared into her ex-lover's eyes, Phoenix pulled her out of her seat and began to make her dance. The girl didn't know what to do, she just stood there, staring and laughing at the group in front of her. They all stopped and began to shout the lyrics.

"_Stronger than yesterday!"_

"You guys are so gay!" Sean yelled, bringing plates filled with food over to the kitchen table.

"That's insulting," Phoenix said as she suddenly stopped dancing, looking completely serious.

"Yeah, don't you know it's offense to use the word gay like that?" Monroe asked, folding his arms across his chest and sticking out his butt.

"God babe, you're so fucking offensive," Battle shouted, slapping him in the arm.

Sean starred at the group, he was obviously confused. When the bunch of them began to laugh, you could see Sean's face turn red.

"You guys are jerks," Sean said pouting. "I make you breakfast and this is how you repay me?"

"Awe, stop your crying," Battle said in a fake whinny voice before she kissed her boyfriend.

They all sat down to eat, Battle sitting on Sean's lap and Phoenix sitting on Monroe's lap to make room. They ate and talked, and rambled on about random things. Even Nagisa chimed in on the conversation, enjoying the relationship with her new friends. Shizuma remained quiet the whole time, watching Nagisa's every movement.

"She's so beautiful," Shizuma thought, fighting a smile. "She's changed so much…" Shizuma's thoughts ran away with her as she eyed her love up and down, feeling her body automatically respond. "She's going to kill my will," She thought, her eyes lingering on her love's lips.

Nagisa finally let her guard down and allowed herself to take a glance at the woman she craved. She was captivated by the look in Shizuma's eyes; passion and longing burned through Shizuma's green orbs, it took her breath away. The two of them gazed into each other's eyes, tension rising between them.

"So…"Phoenix said, looking around the room, "How did you two sleep?"

Shizuma turned to Phoenix, glaring at her. She bit down on her lip and then spoke, "Fine."

"Fine huh?" Phoenix asked, rolling her eyes.

"Yes," Shizuma said coldly, glaring at the very high young women interrogating her, "fine."

"Can we go back to the dorms Phoenix?" Nagisa asked, trying to avoid a very awkward conversation.

"Uh, yeah…" Phoenix trailed off as she stood up, giving Nagisa and Shizuma a suspicious look. "Let's go."

Nagisa stood up and stretched, Shizuma's eyes following the girl. Nagisa smiled at everyone and waved. "I hope I see you all soon," She said, avoiding eye contact with Shizuma.


	7. Chapter 7

The two young women made their way out of the house and out onto the hot pavement. The quietly walked down the sidewalk, both of them trying to adjust to the grueling heat. After a couple minutes of silence, Phoenix stopped. Nagisa instantly turned to the girl to see what was wrong.

"Are you okay?" Phoenix asked.'

"I think so," Nagisa said as she bit her lip. "It's just all so confusing." She stared off into the gray concrete, recalling the events of the night before. "I just…"

"You don't understand," Phoenix asked as if she could read the red head's mind.

"How…?" Nagisa trailed off, wondering herself if the woman in front of her had ESP.

"Walk with me," Phoenix said smiling. "What all did Shizuma tell you?"

"Um, something about her not wanting to hold me back from living my own life," Nagisa said as she walked beside her new friend, anger starting to grow inside of her. "That still doesn't explain why she would just stop talking to me completely."

"I figured she wouldn't tell you the whole, much bigger story," Phoenix said before sighing. "Look, I probably shouldn't be the one to tell you this, but I don't think Shizuma will." Phoenix thought carefully before continuing to speak, knowing that she would most likely end up getting a beating. She swallowed hard and continued to talk. "After Shizuma graduated, she went straight home only to learn that her mother was dying."

Nagisa gasped, she was completely shocked. Her ex-lover never even mentioned that her mother had been sick.

"I don't know if Shizuma knew her mother was sick," Phoenix continued, "but in any case, it made her completely obedient to her mother's wishes. And Shizuma's mother made her promise to get married…"

"Married?" Nagisa shouted, confusion written all over her face.

"Awesome," Phoenix sighed, rolling her eyes once more. "She never told you she had an arranged marriage?"

"No," Nagisa said lowly, she was beginning to become upset. "Did I ever really know her?" She thought, pain striking her body.

"I figured," Phoenix said, "I don't think she planned on going through with it. But she promised her mother… and when her mother actually died… she wasn't going to break her promise."

"How do I not know any of this?" Nagisa shouted in her head. "How could she have not even mentioned something like this to me?"

"Things became worse when Shizuma's father announced he was going to be remarried practically the next day after her mother's death," Phoenix said, disgust clearly in her voice. "And this all happened within the first week of Shizuma being home."

"I don't know why she didn't say anything to me…" Nagisa trailed off, her whole body hurt. She was angry, upset, and she couldn't help but feel so much pain for her silver haired beauty. "She didn't even call to tell me it was over."

"When Shizuma was explaining it to me one night, when we were completely wasted," Phoenix said, trying to make sure the hurt girl by her side knew she wasn't anywhere close to being more important, "I could tell that she still hadn't let everything sink in. It happened so fast… there was no way she was anywhere near the correct state of mind; not to mention she was furious with her father."

Phoenix paused the conversation when the two young women made it to the entrance of their dorm building. Both of the young women silently made their way up the stairs and down the hall to their room. Once inside, Phoenix laid down on her bed, continuing to talk as Nagisa laid down on her bed as well.

"I think…" Phoenix trailed off, trying to choose her words carefully for once. "I think that she was so hurt that she just wanted to do what her mother wanted. I think she thought that the pain would subside of she did. So she instantly got in contact with her intended husband, a man she had never met, and she arranged her bullshit wedding." Phoenix laughed, "Luckily for her, the guy bailed on the day of their wedding."

Nagisa was shocked. "What kind of man would deny Shizuma?" Nagisa thought. "She's gorgeous in every way possible. I don't get it."

"The man was in love with another woman," Phoenix said as she closed her eyes, relaxing into her soft sheets. "He tried to force himself to do it, for the "honor of his family," or what not, but her couldn't. He deeply loved another woman, as did Shizuma. But by the time all of this was said and done…" Phoenix trailed off once more, trying to exactly remember what she had been told. "It had been over three months since all of this had started and by that point, Shizuma was terrified to talk to you."

"Why?" Nagisa asked allowed, looking over at her roommate.

"She said it was because she was ashamed of everything that had happened, including just breaking all contact with you," Phoenix said. "But I think… I think it was that and…"

"And what?" Nagisa asked, not being able to stand the anticipation.

"Well, okay, this is probably going to get confusing," Phoenix said, turning onto her side to face Nagisa. "She stopped talking to you because she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with some random man. She figured it would be easier for her to do that and have you hate her then to explain everything to you and risk losing her resolve. Plus, I think she was insecure."

"Insecure?" Nagisa questioned, not believing Shizuma could be insecure about anything.

"Well yeah," Phoenix said becoming fearful she wasn't making any sense. "She was insecure with herself. She knew you loved her, but I don't think she ever realized that it wasn't just puppy love for you. Just seeing the way you two stare at each other though proves otherwise."

Nagisa blushed at the last statement, pulling her eyes away from Phoenix. She began to blush as she remembered the way Shizuma had been looking at her in the kitchen; with so much passion and longing. I was like her eyes were expressing all the love her mouth couldn't.

"Anyway," Phoenix continued, "I think she thought that she wasn't good enough to have you, and she had already done one of the worst things she could ever do to you, so why put both of you through a bunch of pain when she figured you'd just leave her anyway. She thought that you were young and that you would just bounce back."

"How selfish," Nagisa said, pain ringing in her voice. "I loved her so much… I thought I did something wrong. Or that she just… she just used me the whole time." Nagisa began to cry, causing Phoenix to panic.

"No, come on, don't cry gorgeous!" Phoenix shouted, jumping off her bed and lunging over to Nagisa, kneeling on the floor. "I know what she did was selfish and completely wrong, but…" Phoenix made Nagisa look at her, "I _**know**_ that she has always, and still does, madly love you. She's just a dumbass."

Nagisa laughed lightly and wiped away at her tears. She took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Thank you," Nagisa said, forcing a smile.

Phoenix smiled back before speaking, "I think she knows she's a dumbass. I think she realized that you weren't just in puppy love with her when you continued to write and call her. And by then… I think she was just too ashamed. That's no excuse, but…" Phoenix trailed off, memories flashing through her mind as she stood up, "I know how it feels to be completely ashamed. It takes away all of you courage and suffocates all your will… it makes you hide like a child." Phoenix broke out of her thoughts and spoke once more, "I know she knows she's a dumbass."

"I agree," Nagisa said as she made her way underneath her blanket.

"She is determined to make it up to you though," Phoenix said as she took her flannel off and dropped it at the foot of her bed. "Whether you want to be with her again, or just be her friend, she's completely determined to earn your forgiveness. But to be honest," Phoenix got quiet as she curled up underneath her blanket as well, "I think it will be harder for her to forgive herself."


	8. Chapter 8

It had been a couple weeks since Nagisa had learned the truth about her ex-lover. Knowing the truth had made it easier for her to be around the silver haired beauty. She was no longer angry, and only slightly upset. She had forgiven Shizuma so easily and it didn't surprise her.

The weeks that had gone by had been filled with awkward, tension filled moments between the two young women. A few stolen kisses had been shared between the two, which only made each interaction between them harder. They were both struggling with just being friends.

Most of the time they spent together was around their new group of friends. The other people that were present made it easier for the two young women to concentrate on something other than ravaging each other. It also made it easier for them to talk to one another. Both of the young women were learning new, exciting things about each other; but this only added fuel to their growing fire. It made the moments they spent with just each other painful.

Nagisa was spending a lot of time in Shizuma's house. Whether Shizuma was home or not, Nagisa and Phoenix were just about always there. Phoenix spent most of her time recording and mixing music while Nagisa spent most of her time studying. Something besides Shizuma attracted Nagisa to the house. It gave the young woman a home feeling and she couldn't ignore how happy it made her.

Phoenix and Nagisa were sitting on the couch in the living. Phoenix was tuning her guitar while Nagisa was watching tv. Both of the girls seemed content with what they were doing.

Phoenix had been coming to the house every day the past week to record music. Nagisa eventually made her way to the house every day, hoping to find her love inside. Shizuma had been nowhere to be found the past couple of days though. She had gone on a trip to New York City with one of her classes.

"She should be home today," Phoenix said as she looked up at Nagisa.

"I'm not sitting around here waiting for her, if that's what you think," Nagisa said nervously.

"Uh huh," Phoenix said, rolling her eyes, "you've convinced me so much."

"I am not!" Nagisa shouted.

"It's okay if you are; I see the way you two look at each other," Phoenix said grinning.

"I have better things to do than wait around for Shizuma," Nagisa said under her breath, looking back up at the tv.

"Then let's go out," Phoenix said as she put her guitar down and stood up. "We've been stuck in this house all week working on something or another. I say we deserve a break."

"But isn't Shizuma supposed to come back today?" Nagisa asked lowly.

"I thought you weren't sitting around waiting for her," Phoenix asked as she raised her eyebrow.

"I'm not!" Nagisa said smiling as she stood up.

"Then let's go!" Phoenix shouted, taking Nagisa's hand as she dragged her out of the living room.

The two girls walked down the hallway and up to the door. Phoenix paused and turned around, and she began walking toward the kitchen.

"Hold on one second," Phoenix said as she disappeared out of Nagisa's sight.

"I know the first thing she'll do is eat when she gets home," Phoenix thought as she searched for a pen and some paper. She wrote down a quick note:

_Shizuma,_

_Nagisa and I went out to relax and party for a bit. If you want to come find us, we'll be at Nocturne. _

_-Phoenix_

Phoenix quickly made her way back to the door and led Nagisa out of the house. The two walked to the drive and got into one of the two cars that were parked there.

"What kind of car is this?" Nagisa asked as they got in the car. "And whose car is this?"

"This is a Mustang," Phoenix said, "good ol' American car. And this car is mine."

"Why don't you ever drive it?" Nagisa asked as Phoenix backed out of the driveway."

"Because gas is expensive," Phoenix said as she began to drive down the road, "And I'm a cheap bastard."

Phoenix turned up the radio and neither of the women said a word. It didn't take long for the two to reach their destination. Phoenix parked the car across the street from the club. Both women got out of the car and paused as they looked around.

"Well, let's go," Phoenix said as she moved beside Nagisa.

"Okay…" Nagisa said as she let Phoenix guide her into the club.

Once inside, the two young women were instantly engulfed with music. They could feel the bass line at their feet and up their bodies. The lights flashed multiple colors and every direction. And there were people everywhere drinking or grinding on each other.

Phoenix led Nagisa to the bar and slyly handed the bar tender a hundred dollar bill. She winked at the woman behind the counter and received a devilish smile back.

"So what can I get you two gorgeous ladies?" The bartender shouted as she flung her jet black hair out of her face.

"Just a couple of beers," Phoenix shouted, eyeing the bartender up and down.

"No problem," The bartender said as she bent over to grab the beers.

Phoenix continued to check the woman out. Every curve of the bartender's body was visible through the tight black shirt and jeans she wore. Phoenix seemed to not be able to control herself; her eyes continued to drool over the woman, even when she handed them the beers.

"Do you like what you see?" The bartender shouted and she crossed her arms over her chest and cocked her eyebrow.

"Maybe," Phoenix shouted back, smirking at the young woman in front of her. "Let's go," She said as she grabbed Nagisa's hand and led her to the dance floor.

"Aren't you going to try and talk to her more?" Nagisa asked as the two young woman began to dance.

"She'll come to me," Phoenix shouted confidently before popping a little blue pill in her mouth and chugging the majority of her beer.

The two young women let themselves be consumed by the music that surrounded them. They flung their hips side to side and let their bodies control every movement. It wasn't long before the bartender snaked her arms around Phoenix, pushing their bodies against each other. Phoenix turned and quickly began to dominate her new dance partner. Nagisa just continued dancing by herself.

Nagisa closed her eyes and began to remember the last time she had danced. She remembered how Shizuma touched every inch of her body. She remembered how their bodies constantly touched. She remembered the thrill of not knowing who had been touching her. And she remembered the mixture of excitement and fear when she found out it had been Shizuma who had been caressing every inch of her body. Nagisa stopped dancing and awoke from her thoughts when she felt someone snake their arms around her.

Nagisa quickly turned around and was shocked when she saw Shizuma. Shizuma's eyes seemed to be on fire and he lips formed and alluring smile. Shizuma pulled Nagisa closer and kissed the nape of her neck. Nagisa instantly gave in, letting a light moan escape her lips.

"I missed my Nagisa," Shizuma said into Nagisa's ear, pulling their bodies closer together.

Before Nagisa could say a word, Shizuma began to lead both of their bodies into a dance. Both of the young women swayed their hips back and forth, occasionally grinding into each other. Shizuma's hands found every inch of Nagisa's body. Nagisa could only manage to put one hand on Shizuma's neck and the other on her hips, her eyes closed the whole time. The constant grinding and touching of their bodies made Nagisa weak, and made Shizuma hungry for more. Shizuma's eyes memorized every detail of the moment they were in, never wanting to let the moment go.

Nagisa managed to open her eyes, only to find a panting Shizuma. She began to feel a hunger grow inside of her; her body was aching to feel Shizuma all over every inch of her skin. She began to lightly scratch Shizuma's neck and she moved her other hand to the nape of Shizuma's back. She pushed their bodies closer together and ground her hips hard into Shizuma. Shizuma let out a deep moan as her eyes rolled; she was starting to feel her control slip away.

The two continued to dance, grinding their hips on each other. Their hands explored every inch of skin they could find. Shizuma couldn't control herself anymore. She found her body doing everything her brain was screaming not to do. She couldn't stop staring at Nagisa's lips; she wanted to taste them so bad. Very suddenly, Shizuma crashed her lips onto Nagisa's, relieved to feel her love instantly give in to the kiss. Their lips gently kissed before Shizuma slipped her tongue into Nagisa's mouth. They began to battle for dominance as they tried to push their bodies closer together. Nagisa moaned into the kiss, encouraging Shizuma to go on. But just as suddenly as Shizuma kissed Nagisa, she pulled away.

Both of the young women stood in each other's arms, panting from the lack of oxygen. Nagisa opened her eyes to find Shizuma staring down at her, desire burning in her eyes.

"We can't keep doing this," Shizuma said, just loud enough for Nagisa to hear. "Come on," She said as she grabbed Nagisa's hand and led her out of the club, "We need to talk."


	9. Chapter 9

The drive back to Shizuma's house was silent. Shizuma made herself keep her eyes on the road, knowing that if she took one glance at Nagisa she would lose all of her resolve. Nagisa couldn't help but to stare at her love, her body still demanding more of Shizuma's attention. Once the car was parked in the drive way, the two sat in the car in silence.

"I love you Nagisa," Shizuma said, forcing herself to look Nagisa in the eye. "I always have… and I always will."

Nagisa was shocked. She had no idea what to say. She was still madly in love with the woman beside her, but she was nowhere near ready to say it.

"Whether you still love me or not, it's very clear that you still want," Shizuma continued. "And if that's all it is… then it's only because we've never…" Shizuma trailed off; looking away from the woman she loved.

"I still love you," Nagisa whispered as she swallowed a lump in her throat. Shizuma looked up at Nagisa, hope and relief burning through her eyes. "Just don't make me say it again," Nagisa said, biting her lip as she grabbed Shizuma's hand. "I'm not ready to say it. Truthfully, I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable saying it again," Nagisa was fight back tears and she squeezed Shizuma's hand. "But... I will say it now, so you know that… I do love you. I don't think I'll ever stop…" Nagisa whispered, trying her best not to cry.

"Please," Shizuma said as she placed her hand on Nagisa's cheek, forcing her love to look at her, "don't cry. Don't waste anymore tears on me."

"You're such an idiot," Nagisa cried as she lunged herself across the car at Shizuma. Nagisa squeezed her love as she cried, letting all of her pain and hurt out. Shizuma held her and allowed silent tears to roll down her face.

Hours had passed as Shizuma and Nagisa sat in silence, watching tv, occasionally brushing hands. The two seemed awkwardly happy after their incident in Shizuma's car; they seemed to have gathered some sort of understanding. Shizuma looked down at the silver watch she was wearing to check the time.

"It's almost midnight," Shizuma said, looking over at Nagisa.

"And?" Nagisa asked, smirking.

"Aren't you tired?" Shizuma asked, trying to contain a yawn.

"No, but I can tell you are," Nagisa giggled.

"Yes, well it's tiresome trying to market a band that has no original songs," Shizuma said sighing.

Nagisa gave Shizuma a confused look before speaking, "But I just saw Phoenix record five songs this past week."

"And she won't use a single one," Shizuma said in an almost disappointed voice.

"They were all so good," Nagisa said amazed.

"Phoenix always finds something wrong with her songs," Shizuma said, frustration clear in her voice. "She always finds some reason not to use them. We have almost one-hundred songs recorded and done, but Phoenix just doesn't use any of them."

"That's ridiculous," Nagisa said, curling up to Shizuma.

Shizuma smiled as she felt the younger woman wrap her arms around her waist. "It's because of Sarah," Shizuma said as she slid an arm around Nagisa.

"Who's Sarah?" Nagisa asked as she rested her head on Shizuma's shoulder.

"She's The One for Phoenix," Nagisa said, a brief memory flashing through her mind.

"Wouldn't that encourage her to write songs?" Nagisa asked, staring at the tv. "I thought musicians loved pain because it gives them good ideas."

"Sarah use to write all the songs," Shizuma said, feeling sadness for Phoenix. "And they would sing together. When Sarah left, Phoenix couldn't even pick up her guitar for months. When she finally did, songs began to pour out of her, but she never uses any of them."

"But she's so good," Nagisa said with disappointment in her voice.

"She's scared," Shizuma said, becoming jealous of the admiration Nagisa had for Phoenix. "Do you like her?" She asked boldly.

"What?" Nagisa asked, cocking her eyebrow at Shizuma.

"Do you like her?" Shizuma asked again, jealousy coming through her voice.

"No," Nagisa laughed. "You're so cute," She said, smiling at the jealous woman in her arms.

Shizuma became embarrassed and silent, not knowing what to say. She attempted to look away but Nagisa climbed into her lap, making her presence unavoidable. Both of the young women suddenly realized the position they were in and became still. Neither of them was willing to move, but both were scared.

Shizuma took a deep breath in, trying to control herself. She bit her lip as she slid her hands over Nagisa's legs, stopping at her hips. Nagisa looked at the woman bellow her, passion burning in her eyes. She was panting and struggling to keep her hands to herself.

"Oh baby, baby!" Phoenix shouted as she walked into the living room, interrupting the lovers on the couch. "Don't mind me. I'm just a little fucked up," Phoenix laughed, barely making it to the chair in the room.

Nagisa rolled her eyes and got off of Shizuma. She sat down on the couch next to Shizuma and stared at Phoenix.

"Jesus, what did you take?" Shizuma asked, concern and anger ringing in her voice.

"Um, well, let's see," Phoenix said laughing, looking over at the two on the couch. "I took some of my lovely blue pills, I drank… a lot. And I went home with the bartender-"

"Wow," Nagisa said, interrupting Phoenix.

"I told you that she would come to me," Phoenix said, "And she came to me… and on me," Phoenix began to laugh hysterically.

"That is too much information," Shizuma said with a disgusted look on her face. "What else did you take?"

"You know me too well," Phoenix said, grinning at Shizuma. "I took some shrooms at the bartender's house… before we fucked… and after. So yeah, I'm pretty fucked," Phoenix said as she began to uncontrollably laugh.

"Is that all you took?" Shizuma asked, annoyed and concerned for her friend.

"I think, at some point, I took some ecstasy," Phoenix said smiling at the ceiling.

"Oh my God," Shizuma said as she put her face in her hands. "I can't believe you," She mumbled through her hands. "What am I going to do with you?"

"It's okay," Nagisa said as she got up from the couch. "Come on," She said as she walked over to Phoenix and helped her out of the chair. "Let's get you to a bed."

Shizuma got up and helped Nagisa drag Phoenix down the hall to a spare bedroom. They tucked Phoenix in bed and stood in the room until she fell asleep.

"She's going to kill herself," Shizuma said as her and Nagisa left the room. "I don't know what to do with her."

"Just let her be," Nagisa said. "We'll talk to her in the morning."

"Like she'll listen," Shizuma said under her breath, walking toward the stairs that led to the third floor.

Nagisa followed Shizuma up the stairs and down the hall. In the many past weeks Nagisa had spent in the house, she had never even thought about going to the third floor. She noticed that there were only two rooms. She followed Shizuma into the last room on the floor; Shizuma's bedroom. It was a modest room with only a bed, a desk, a set of drawers, and a laptop. But there was also a wall the cut the room in half. As she walked further into the room, she walked through the archway in the wall and found a piano.

Shizuma followed her silently, intently watching every expression. When Nagisa froze as she reached the piano, Shizuma walked around her and sat down on the piano's black bench.

"It looks just like the one from school," Nagisa said in amazement.

"That's because it is the one from school," Shizuma said, smiling at the younger woman's expression. "I try to play it every day…" She trailed off, gliding her fingers over the keys. "It's just… hard sometimes."

"Why is that?" Nagisa asked as she sat down on the bench next to Shizuma.

"For the longest time, I couldn't even look at a piano," Shizuma said as she stared off. "It would just remind me of what I did… and of everything that happened. But then, Phoenix came along," Shizuma began to smile. "She helped me play again. She convinced me that playing would help solve my problems; and it did." She looked up at Nagisa with a smile before speaking. "She helped me realize that I couldn't change the past, but that I still control what I do in the present. She helped me find a reason to play again… to live again."

"What was your reason?" Nagisa asked, looking deeply into Shizuma's eyes.

"You," Shizuma said, the intensity of her voice sent a chill down Nagisa's spine. "You have always been my reason; my reason to cry, my reason to smile. You and the love you gave me has given me strength within myself." She grabbed Nagisa's hand and bit her lip before speaking again. "I was going to find you… I was going to make it right… But then Miyuki told me you were coming here," Shizuma smiled and moved closer to her love. "It was almost as if….."

Shizuma was broken from her thoughts when she felt Nagisa's lips crash upon hers. The two young women began to kiss furiously, both fighting for dominance. Shizuma grabbed Nagisa and lifted her up onto the piano. Odd notes clanged throughout the room as Shizuma pulled Nagisa closer. She slid a hand up the back of Nagisa's shirt and began to explore every inch of her skin. Her other hand rested on Nagisa's knee, and it began to slowly make its way up the younger girls leg.

Nagisa gasped as she pulled away from the kiss. She breathed hard and bit her lip as she tilted her head back, giving Shizuma full access to the younger girl's neck. Shizuma began to kiss her way down Nagisa's neck, stopping at her collar bone. Shizuma began to lightly suck and bite on the spot she had chosen, causing Nagisa to gasp and moan. The younger woman dug her nails into the older woman's back, earning a deep moan from the back of her throat.

The two women kissed and bit each other. They pulled at clothes, both yearning to feel the other's skin. Shizuma suddenly ripped off the shirt she was wearing, causing Nagisa to stop and stare at the older woman. Instantly, Nagisa brought a hand to one of the voluptuous breasts before her and began to massage the orb in her hand. Shizuma began to feel weak and pulled her lover closer to her body, causing more out of pattern notes from the piano.

Nagisa stopped herself and took in the beauty she had in her arms. Shizuma's eyes were closed, her head tilted back. Her breasts and well toned abs were catching Nagisa's attention the most, until Shizuma opened her eyes.

"Don't… stop…" Shizuma panted, her striking green eyes were burning with longing.

"I have to," Nagisa said with a weak smile. "I don't just want this to happen."

"I understand," Shizuma said; she was slowly coming back to reality.

"No, I mean, I want this so bad," Nagisa said as she got off of the piano. "But…" She trailed off as she took Shizuma's hand and led her to the bed.

"I understand," Shizuma said as she laid down on the bed.

"You're not going to put a shirt on?" Nagisa asked, her eyes glued to the older woman's chest.

"You don't seem to mind," Shizuma said with a smirk.

"I don't mind," Nagisa said as she climbed on top of her love, "It's just very distracting."


	10. Chapter 10

"So you gonna hit this joint or what?" Phoenix asked Shizuma as she sat at the foot of the older woman's bed.

"Yes, give me a minute," Shizuma said as she glanced at herself in the mirror. "I never dress this… relaxed."

"You look good bro," Phoenix said as she lit up her joint and inhaled deeply.

Shizuma stared at her reflection hard. She was wearing a tight white t-shirt and a pair of tight black skinny jeans. She rubbed her converse shoes together in annoyance. She never understood why but she always felt uncomfortable in normal clothing; it probably had something to do with her parents.

"Hell, I'd fuck you right now," Phoenix said with a laugh as she exhaled a cloud a smoke. "Here," She said as she passed the joint to Shizuma.

Shizuma sat sown next to her best friend and eagerly inhaled. Her nerves had been getting at her all night and she needed something to help calm her down. As she exhaled she passed the joint back to Phoenix and laughed at her own thoughts.

"What?" Phoenix asked confused.

"I don't think Nagisa knows I do this," Shizuma said with another laugh, "It would surprise the hell out of her."

"I don't think you know she does it either," Phoenix said under her breath with a smile as she inhaled once more.

"What else do you know that I don't?" Shizuma asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Things I'm not supposed to tell you," Phoenix said, her smile growing.

"Come on, tell me," Shizuma said eagerly, grabbing the joint from Phoenix's hand.

"Now now, there are things you both tell me in confidence that I'm not supposed to tell either of you and you know it," Phoenix said as she teased her friend.

"You're an asshole," Shizuma said before she inhaled some more, her nerves slowly calming.

"Geeze, language young lady," Phoenix said as she got up. "Let's go pick up your girlfriend."

"Where is she anyway?" Shizuma asked as she finished the joint and put it out.

"She had that play thing tonight," Phoenix said as she headed toward the stairs.

"What?" Shizuma said, anger starting to fill her.

"Oopps," Phoenix said as she froze mid step, not daring to turn and look at her friend's expression.

"Why wouldn't she tell me she had a play?" Shizuma asked, anger ringing in her voice.

"She didn't want to tell you about it until tomorrow," Phoenix said, still refusing to turn around.

"Why?"

"Because… if it didn't go well she didn't want you to see it at all."

"And?"

"And Charlie's there…" Phoenix gulped in fear.

"Who's Charlie?" Shizuma began to feel herself become enraged.

"Some girl that's in one of her classes…"

"And?"

"She has a crush on Nagisa real bad," Phoenix said before running off, trying to beat Shizuma to the ampatheater.

Shizuma couldn't believe it. Another girl? Nagisa was interested in another girl? It enraged the woman to no end. She could feel the adrenaline rushing through her body. She bolted; down the two flights of stairs and out the door. Why she ran instead of taking her car, she didn't know. She was too concerned, too upset to think.

"Why wouldn't she tell me?" Shizuma thought as she ran faster. "Why wouldn't she tell me some girl liked her? Maybe… maybe she isn't just some girl. How long have they been talking to each other? How long have they been interested? What if Nagisa… what if she loves her?"

And at that thought Shizuma ran faster than she ever had before. Her breathing was rigid and hard. Her body kept telling her to stop, screaming it needed a break, but Shizuma didn't care. Her heart yelled faster and her body yielded to its command.

By the time Shizuma reached the ampatheater she was covered in sweat. She stopped for a second to catch her breath and tried to calm herself down; it was no use. She walked through the giant wooden double doors into a hallway. With no one in sight, she headed straight through the metal doors a few feet away from her. As she entered the theater she stopped dead in her tracks; she was mesmerized by Nagisa on stage.

" _As sweet as balm, as soft as air, as gentle,-  
O Antony!-Nay, I will take thee too."_

Nagisa said her line, throwing herself onto the prop bed. "She's so beautiful," Shizuma thought as she watched in amazement.

"_What should I stay!"_

Nagisa screamed as she killed herself and the room went dark. Applause filled the theater as the velvet red curtains closed. "She's amazing," Shizuma thought. "I think I just fell in love all over again."

Suddenly sadness filled Shizuma's heart. "Or am I too late?" Shizuma thought. "It seems she's found another."

The curtains reopened and the actors came on stage to take their bows. A woman with long black hair and a stunning body pulled herself up onto the stage and ran to Nagisa. She threw herself at Shizuma's love and kissed her on the cheek. Without waiting to see more, Shizuma rand through the double doors, a single tear rolling down her face.

"She's so young," Shizuma thought as she ran, "I should have known. I was the first, not the last." Her eyes were betraying her and pouring tears as she ran as fast as she could in an unknown direction. "She'll never really be mine."


	11. Chapter 11

"What the hell?" Nagisa screamed as she pushed Charlie off of her. "What are you doing?"

Charlie stared at Nagisa with big blue eyes and pouted before saying, "I was just congratulating my little Nagisa."

"I am not yours, get that through your thick head!" Nagisa shouted as she stomped off the stage. "I belong to no one," She said under her breath heavily.

Nagisa made her way behind the stage to the changing rooms and quickly threw on her black t-shirt and blue jeans. As she slipped on her black shoes she heard someone approach. Automatically assuming it was Charlie, Nagisa quickly snapped around and slapped her visitor in the face.

"Well fuck me!" Phoenix shouted as she grabbed her sore cheek.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Nagisa apologized in a panic. "I thought you were someone else."

"Charlie?" Phoenix asked as she rubbed her cheek.

"Yes," Nagisa said before sighing. "She won't leave me alone."

"Can you blame her?" Phoenix said as she sunk in a nearby chair. "You are pretty sexy."

"It's just embarrassing," Shizuma said under her breath as she stared at the grey carpet under her feet.

"It's embarrassing because of how forward she is or embarrassing because of how much you like her?" Phoenix asked, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

"I don't like her…" Nagisa trailed off.

"I know you don't like her… that much," Phoenix said, deciding to stare Nagisa down. "It's ok to like somebody else Nagisa. Just because you become attracted or interested in someone else doesn't mean you have to do anything with them."

"I know," Nagisa said, almost annoyed, "I just feel bad. Shizuma…" She trailed off, not ready to say those words aloud.

"Yeah, we all know you love each other," Phoenix said as she moved to her friend's side, "But that doesn't mean it's a sin to look at someone else. Just don't touch."

"But what… what if I want to touch," Nagisa said as she looked at the ground harder, her face turning red.

"Just because you want to do something, doesn't mean you have to do it," Phoenix said as she rubbed her friend's back. "And if you want to do something with Charlie… and you want it bad enough to the point that you're willing to break up with Shizuma-"

"I don't not want her over Shizuma!" Nagisa shouted as she shot up from her seat.

"Then there's your answer,' Phoenix said with a smile, "Now we need to find her."

"I thought she came with you?" Nagisa asked confused.

"Well, she saw you getting your little kiss there and ran off," Phoenix said nervously as she scratched her head.

"You told her!" Nagisa shouted.

"We were high and it just slipped out," Phoenix said as she began to slowly back away from her room mate.

"You both were high," Nagisa said, her anger flashing away with confusion.

"Yeah, we smoked some weed to relax and it just slipped," Phoenix said.

"I can't believe Shizuma smokes," Nagisa said to herself.

"Yeah, well she ran off and seemed pretty upset. I actually caught her crying."

"Oh no," Nagisa said in a sudden panic, "Come on!"

They ran out of the theater and into the cool night air, both searching for a glimpse of their friend. Nagisa began to panic, fearing that Shizuma would disappear on her again; forever this time.

"Oh God please no," Nagisa said as she began to cry. She collapsed onto the ground and her body began to shake. "Please no," she whispered into her hands.

"What's wrong?" Battle asked, surprising Phoenix.

"You take Nagisa to Shizuma's and I'll meet you guys there," Phoenix said before running off.

"What's going on?" Battle shouted as she began to pick Nagisa up off the ground.

"Just do it and I'll explain later," Phoenix yelled as she began to run her fastest.

She didn't know how long she had been there, but it was now pitch black and almost cold. The breeze blew with consistency, causing goose bumps to crawl up her arm. Her emerald eyes stared off onto the dark crashing waves. She watched as every imprint in the sand was quickly erased but an oncoming wave. "Just like us," She thought to herself, feeling another tear roll down her cheek.

"Shizuma!" She heard a familiar voice shout.

Shizuma looked to her right to see Phoenix running down the sand toward her. She said nothing as her best friend ran up to her and sat down on the rock beside her, panting the entire time. Her friend took a cigarette out of her pocket and inhaled eagerly.

"Come home," Phoenix barely let out between her pants and inhales.

"What home?" Shizuma said bitterly.

"Our home," Phoenix said with a smile, trying to cheer up her friend.

"I have no home, not without Nagisa."

"Oh come on, you don't need her to live. And besides, she's there, waiting for you."

"What?" Shizuma asked confused.

"You ran off so fast you didn't get to see her make a huge scene as she blew that girl of," Phoenix laughed.

"Why would she do that?" Shizuma asked hotly. "I saw their body language. I stood there watching for a while before I left, their body language said enough."

"Come on now," Phoenix said as she pat her friend on the shoulder, "Just because she finds someone else attractive doesn't mean she wants to be with them."

"How do you know that?" Shizuma spit out bitterly.

"Dude, I'm her room mate, she tells me everything. Every time she even thinks a girl's hot she automatically compares them to you and doesn't shut up about how you're better in every way."

"This is why I stopped talking to her," Shizuma said to herself. "I knew she'd want to explore and be free… And I want that for her. But I can't stand around and watch it."

"You're such a fucking dumb ass," Phoenix said as she stood up and walked in front of her friend to face her. "All she wants is you! She wakes me up in my sleep crying out your name! And I can never tell if it's cause she's worried of if it's cause she's coming! It's annoying as shit."

Shizuma sat up straight and began to listen to her friend intently. She never felt this broken or vulnerable, and yet Phoenix could fix it. She fixed her when she was completely broken, and she could always pick her up.

"All she talks about is you. All she thinks about is you. All she cares about is you," Phoenix began to act disgusted. "It's so repulsive how much she loves you. It makes me wanna fucking puke."

"You think she loves me?" Shizuma asked, hope shinning through her voice.

"Fucking duh genius," Phoenix said with a blank expression. "You know, for a smart person you are pretty stupid."

"You're right," Shizuma said with a light laugh as she stood up, "I can be pretty stupid when it comes to emotions."

"Come on girly, think," Phoenix said as she clasped her friend's shoulder. "It took you almost a year to realize you loved her. Two more years of heart break to realize she was the only one you wanted. She's here, now, take her, she's yours."

"You're right," Shizuma said as she stood up, the waves washing her foot prints away as she walked faster and faster to her lover.

The room was dark and the sheets were welcoming and cool to Nagisa's warm body. She stretched and inhaled deeply. Shizuma's scent filled her nose; the weird sweet scent of lavender and cinnamon filled her nose. She turned and inhaled more deeply, recognizing a scent that could only belong to her Shizuma.

"My Shizuma," She said aloud to herself, a smile creeping over her lips.

Thoughts dripped and trickled down Nagisa's mind, causing the young woman to blush. Every previous encounter of her lover flashed through her mind; every prolonged touch, every intimate kiss, every slow long thrust. "Shizuma," the young woman whispered aloud.

"Nagisa," She heard a hungry voice whisper into her ear.

Nagisa gasped as she opened her eyes, only to find hungry emerald ones staring back at her. She didn't know when or how Shizuma managed to straddle and bind her hands down without her noticing, but here her lover was.

Shizuma leaned forward, brushing her nose against her young lover's. She smirked as she drug her lips gently across the ones below her. She eagerly pressed her hips down into her lover's, getting a light gasp from the younger woman. She tightened her grip around her lover's wrist and pushed her breast's into Nagisa's.

"Shizuma," Nagisa breathed huskily.

"My Nagisa," Shizuma breathed before she sunk her teeth into Nagisa's neck.

Nagisa gasped at the hard bite and cooed when she felt her lover begin to suck and lick the spot she had chosen. Nagisa fought to release herself from the older woman's grasp, but it was no use. Her entire body was pinned by a goddess.

Shizuma continued to work Nagisa's neck with her tongue and let her one hand begin to roam the younger woman's body. She slowly made her way up Nagisa's shirt and began to lightly scratch every inch of skin she came in contact with. She finally made her way up to her lover's luscious breasts that were confined by her wretched bra.

"Off," Shizuma breathed before quickly removing Nagisa's shirt and instantly unsnapping her bra.

Nagisa gasped as the cool air hit her nipples, instantly making them hard. Without hesitation, Shizuma dove her mouth onto a perfect nipple and began to suck and lick every bit of it. Her free hand found its way to the other breast and began to kneed and message. Nagisa thrust her hips up, trying to desperately relieve some tension.

"So eager, like always," Shizuma laughed as she pulled her mouth away to look at Nagisa's face.

Nagisa looked down at the older woman, her eyes begging her lover to touch her. Shizuma smiled deviously and slowly began to unbutton Nagisa's jeans. Within a second, the younger woman's pants were gone, and all the remained were her white panties.

"No fair," Nagisa said before suddenly flipping Shizuma on to her back. The older woman gasped, surprised at the younger girl's forwardness. Nagisa smirked as she began to slowly pull Shizuma's shirt off.

Nagisa stopped and stared at the prize she was straddling. She had no idea where this bravado had come from, but she wasn't going to stop long enough for it to disappear. She continued to rip off her lover's clothes until she wore noting but blue panties.

"My, my," Nagisa cooed, "Don't you look good like this."

Shizuma took the opportunity to flip the girl back onto the bed. She straddled her lover with a smile of clear satisfaction. She began to lower herself above the younger woman so their eyes would meet, and then began to slowly thrust her hips into the woman beneath her.

Nagisa let a deep moan release from the back of her throat as she closed her eyes and clasped her fingers around Shizuma's. Slowly, the older woman dug her hips into her lover's, craving the sweet friction.

"Off," Shizuma said huskily, and in one swift motion both of the women were completely naked.

Shizuma stopped to stare into Nagisa's eyes, seeing the same passion and love that was burning every inch of her skin. She kissed the girl below her furiously, their lips battling for dominance before Nagisa slipped her tongue into the older woman's mouth. Their tongues danced until their lunges burned, causing them to break away from each other.

"Shizuma," Nagisa breathed, "Don't stop."

"I love you Nagisa," Shizuma said as she stared into her lone and only's eyes. Without waiting for a response, Shizuma dug her hips into Nagisa's, causing the younger woman to loudly moan.

Shizuma continued to kiss her lover as she created a rhythm with their bodies. Nagisa spread her legs, allowing Shizuma to shove herself deeper into her lover. Their hands found every inch of the other's body as they continued to drag their clits together, causing more and more friction. Their kiss finally broke, causing the two to star into each other's eyes.

"Shizuma!" The younger gasped, tightening her legs around Shizuma's waist.

"Fuck," Shizuma breathed, "Come with me baby."

"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck," moaned, trying to hold herself back.

The young lover's moved faster and harder, and pulled closer to each other. Their bodies ground together, that sweet friction reaching its climax. Shizuma dug her fingers into the sheet below her and Nagisa dug her nails into her lover's back.

"Nagisa," Shizuma breathed, "Nagisa, look at me."

Nagisa looked into her lover's emerald eyes, seconds away from being thrown over the edge. Shizuma quickly kissed her and panted.

"Just keep looking at me," Shizuma moaned. "I wanna… I wanna see it when you come."

That was it. Those words threw Nagisa over the edge, "Shizuma!" She screamed as she clasped her legs tighter around her lover.

"Nagisa!" Shizuma screamed, staring into her lover's eyes as her world came crashing down around her.

Shizuma collapsed onto the younger woman's chest and held her tight. Her eyes were now closed as she gasped for air. She kissed the skin bellow her, trying to praise the woman who had just given her a piece of Heaven.

Nagisa wrapped her arms tightly around the woman on top of her as she tried to control her breathing. She smiled as she felt her lover begin to kiss her way up her chest. Her eyes were once again met by emerald ones, along with a devilish smile.

"What?" Nagisa asked.

"Oh, we are not finished," Shizuma said as she thrust her fingers deep inside of her lover, earing a loud gasp.


	12. Chapter 12

It had been a few months since Shizuma and Nagisa had made love: and it had been the only time they had made love in the past several months. Neither had really been brave enough to declare what their relationship was. It caused increasing tension between the two young women. Between their nonstop fighting and awkward moments, the two didn't really spend any time together. Nagisa was busy with school and Shizuma was busy with work.

"So, guess who I saw yesterday," Phoenix said in a low, unattached voice.

"Who?" Nagisa asked as she watched Phoenix, Sean, and Monroe tune their instruments.

"Sarah..." Phoenix said barely above a whisper.

The room became silent and everyone's eyes landed on Phoenix. Her blank expression on her guitar said enough to them; they knew better then to ask questions.

"I will fucking kill that bitch," Battle said under her breath as she sat up on her drum seat.

"Any way, I wrote this song after I saw her," Phoenix said as she turned to her band mates, "And I want to play it tomorrow night."

"What?" Sean asked in disbelief. "How the hell are we supposed to get a song together that fast?"

"Calm down you little winey school girl, I've written everything already," Phoenix said with a smirk as she reached into her back that sat on the wooden floor and pulled out sheet music for her friends. "Here," She said as she passed them the music. "I want to play it tomorrow at the first round of the battle of the bands. I want her to hear it..."

"Okay," Battle said as she gave a reassuring smile to her sister. "Let's do this," she said as she clanked her drum sticks.

Nagisa sat and watched, intently listening to the lyrics. She smiled at the attitude Phoenix gave as she belted each lyrics out. Her attention was quickly drawn to Shizuma as she felt the older woman sit down next to her.

"Is she keeping this?" Shizuma asked rhetorically, knowing her friend never kept a song.

"As a matter of a fact, she is," Nagisa said in a cold tone. "Phoenix is learning how to be brave, so why don't you." Nagisa starred hard at the wall, not willing to be the first one to cave.

"Maybe you should realize that I'm doing this for you," Shizuma said in an almost bitter voice. "You don't know what you want out of life Nagisa."

"How do you know what I want?" Nagisa asked hotly. "You've never even asked me."

"I know you."

"Clearly, you don't," And with that said, Nagisa walked out of the room.

The band stopped playing as Nagisa suddenly left. They all starred at Shizuma, their faces expressing their thoughts.

"Why don't you just suck it up and ask her?" Phoenix asked in an irritated voice.

"Because I want her to know," Shizuma said in an almost hurt tone, "I want her to know that it's me she wants for the rest of her life. If she doesn't want forever and I can't be with her. I wouldn't be able to handle her leaving."

"You don't change your tone my friend, she will leave," Phoenix said before popping a little blue pill, "for good."

"And if you don't stop popping those damn pills in my presence, you're going to be wearing you ass as a hat!" Shizuma shouted as she stood up. "Now, again! You have less than twenty hours to get this song right."

The air was thick with nervousness as Phoenix and her band took the stage. There was one big wooden stage set up in the middle of a wide street. Twinkling lights hung across the street for as far as the eye could see. Nagisa stood at the front of the stage, smiling at her friend, trying to encourage her.

"Hello," Phoenix said into the microphone to the crowd, getting a loud roar back. "I'm Phoenix and I wrote this song..." Phoenix trailed off as she stared at someone right next to Nagisa.

Nagisa looked to her right to find a breath taking beauty standing next to her. The woman had long, dirty blonde hair hanging down to her lower back. Her green eyes shone with what looked like a mixture of hurt and anger. She had her arms across her chest, causing her white linen shirt to tighten around her breasts.

As Nagisa slightly gawked at the woman she suddenly realized who she was looking at; Sarah. Her awe and admiration quickly turned to anger and disgust. "So this is her," Nagisa thought as she took as step to her left. She then looked up at her friend on stage, feeling pain as she noticed that Phoenix was on the verge of tears.

After the few long moments of silence, Battle banged on her drums, quickly getting her sisters attention. Phoenix jumped and turned to look to only find her sister smirking.

"She's here," Battle said with evil in her eyes," Let her have it."

Phoenix smiled at her sister and turned back to the now curious crowd. "I'm Phoenix," she said again to the crowd with a smile, "And this is a song I wrote for _you_," she said the last word with venom in her voice as she starred down her ex lover.

The drums began to play and the guitars soon after. Phoenix took a deep breath and starred down her ex lover before she began to sing.

_"I think I might be a fortune teller, I read your face just like a letter, The funny thing about forever, Is it comes with a side of never, never."_

The crowd began to sway back and forth to the beat, causing Phoenix to grin. Nagisa stared in amazement at her friend, wondering how she somehow came up with the courage she had mustered.

_"I can't buy into what you're selling, And no it's not that I don't want it, Believe me I love to close my eyes, enjoy the ride, But you reek of indecision and I..."_

Shizuma slowly made her way through the crowd, watching in amazement as her friend finally grasped the courage she always needed. When she finally got beside Nagisa, the music stopped as Phoenix whispered, and then suddenly the music burst back to life.

_"I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know... You're only gonna let me down, When it counts, you countdown. You're only gonna turn me out, as I burn, you burn out. You're only gonna make me feel so crazy, But when I think we could be somethin, You go and let me down, let me down, oh."_

Shizuma's smile soon faded as she looked to her right and saw the person who made her friend feel so much pain. She glared at the woman, not gaining her attention. She stared at Sarah intently, surprised by Sarah's smile. It wasn't an evil smile, it was a smile of pride. Shizuma continued to stare at Sarah, confused by her reaction.

_"I am too smart to let you in here, But I'm just dumb enough to linger, I wanna think that you'll be different, Smoking mirrors are so clever clever."_

As Shizuma let her eyes stop burning wholes into staring, she began to stare at Nagisa. Her stomach began to turn as she noticed Nagisa's eyes; they were filled with amazement and love. Unfortunately, Shizuma couldn't tell if it was friendly love or more.

_"I pretend that things aren't so bad, And what you say will actually happen, I've been dying to open my eyes, See you try instead of always leaving me out to dry."_

Nagisa couldn't believe her eyes, or her ears for that matter. She found herself swooning over her friend's performance, as she always did. Nagisa had noticed growing feelings for her friend, the kind of feelings that were more than friendly. She didn't know if she was falling in love or just growing attached because of all the time they spent together. Either way, she couldn't ignore what she was feeling. The question was, did she truly love Phoenix in an intimate way?

"_I know, I know, I know... You're only gonna let me down, When it counts, you countdown. You're only gonna turn me out, as I burn, you burn out. You're only gonna make me feel so crazy, But when I think we could be somethin, You go and let me down, let me down, oh."_

Shizuma began to feel the cold stab of jealousy for her friend. "How could she?" She thought with despise. "She supposed to be my best friend, the person who's always got my back." She looked up at her friend to see if she was staring at her love with the same admiration, and was surprised to find that she wasn't even paying a bit of attention to Nagisa. Phoenix's eyes had been on Sarah the entire time, and remained on her.

_**"**__I need you to be there when you say you're gonna be, I care too much and you care enough to leave, I want some place to rest my head without worrying, It's not fair, It's not fair, It's not fair, It's not fair, It's not fair to me, cause I know by now..."_

Nagisa began to notice the woman standing next to her and she froze. "Did she see me staring at Phoenix?" She thought, fear jolting through her body. "Why do I even care? It's not like she wants to be with me..." With that thought she turned to face Shizuma, only to find her eyes burning with pain and love. It froze Nagisa in her tracks. She was pained by the look Shizuma was giving her.

_"You're only gonna let me down, When it counts, you countdown. You're only gonna turn me out, as I burn, you burn out. You're only gonna make me feel so crazy, But when I think we could be somethin, You go and let me down, let me down, oh."_

The song ended and the crowd cheered. Phoenix smiled as she stared at the judges at the far back end of the crowd, seeing a perfect score that passed her band on to the next round. She looked down at her ex lover and smirked with pride, surprised to see Sarah giving her the same look.

Phoenix put the guitar down and jumped off the stage, landing mere inches away from Sarah. She stared her down and the screamed, not knowing how to act at Sarah's reaction.

"That was good," Sarah said as she finally let her arms uncross her chest. "Now why don't you stand right here and listen to the song I wrote for you."

"And why would she do that for you?" Battle spat as she dropped off the stage and landed right behind her sister.

"Because this is a competition," Sarah said as she walked past the two women and onto the stage, "And she should see what she's up against."

Phoenix stood still and listened, not even turning around to look at the woman who caused her torment. The instruments began to play and then mellowed as Sarah's voice became dominant over the speakers.

_"Maybe if my heart stops beating, It won't hurt this much, And never will I have to answer, Again to anyone, Please don't get me wrong..."_

Nagisa had torn her gaze away from Shizuma to look at Phoenix, who was shaking in what seemed to be anger. Nagisa went to comfort her friend but was stopped by Shizuma. She turned to her love, only to find her shaking her head.

"It's best not to touch her when she's like that," Shizuma whispered into Nagisa's ear, causing shocks to run up her spine.

_"Because I'll never let this go, But I can't find the words to tell you, I don't want to be alone, But now I feel like I don't know you."_

"HA!" Phoenix shouted before storming off into the sea of people. Nagisa was ripped from her trance as she heard her friend yell. She chased after her friend, following her through the sea of people, and down a dark alley way that led to some wooded area.

"Phoenix!"Nagisa shouted.

Phoenix stopped in her tracks and didn't make a sounds. Suddenly, she kicked the ground beneath her and yelled.

"What does she know?" Phoenix yelled at the ground. "She's the one who walked away!" Phoenix fell to the ground, fighting the urge to cry.

"Phoenix," Shizuma said, startling Nagisa. "Don't let her get the best of you."

"What do you know?" Phoenix asked as she shot up from the ground and turned to face her friend. "You have the love of your life right here, in front of you, ready and willing. And what do you do? You run away like a little bitch!"

"Phoenix," Shizuma said in a warning tone.

"Oh no, don't talk to me like I'm a little kid," Phoenix walked up to her friend and stared her dead in the eye. "Tell me it doesn't kill you to look at her," Phoenix said in a low, serious tone. "Tell me it doesn't kill you not to have her when she's standing right in front of you all the time."

Shizuma stared at her friend, not knowing how to react. Her natural reaction would be to deny anything and everything Phoenix said, but she knew she couldn't lie to her. Her body tightened as she held her breath, avoiding eye contact with Phoenix.

"I'm getting real sick of this shit," Phoenix said as she reached in to her pocket and popped one of her little blue pills.

"How many times have I asked you-" Shizuma began to shout but was cut off.

"Oh shut you face!" Phoenix shouted. "You're not my mother! For fucks sake!" Phoenix walked up to Nagisa and stared her down. "Would you please tell her that she's the one you want to spend the rest of your life with and be together already! "

"I can't do that," Nagisa said lowly as she averted her eyes to the ground.

"And why not?" Phoenix asked annoyed.

Nagisa said nothing, not really sure why she couldn't say it. She knew she loved Shizuma with all her heart, but she didn't know if she could spend forever with her. With how things had been going, every time her and Shizuma took one step forward they took ten backwards, and she didn't know if she could put up with that forever.

"AH!" Phoenix shouted as she kicked the dirt once more. "You're both stupid! You love each other, so whatever's wrong, just fuck it out! Jesus Christ!" Phoenix stormed off back down the alley and into the crowd, leaving two silent and scared women behind to deal with each other.


End file.
